No Meat Week: "The End of Days"

In about 45 minutes, Housten and I will make a meat toast. I'll hold up my package of Gallo Italian dry salami, he'll thrust up a Slim Jim, and we'll probably say something along the lines of this....

"We have just gone seven days without implicitly contributing to the scarification and slaughter of animals by consuming their flesh. Seven days is a long-ass time: Enough for God to create the world, Joan of Arc to fly around some crazy ass shit, and Housten to download the entire series of Alien Nation. God is good, beer is great, and people are crazy."  

pig blood

And then, after a short moment of silence, we'll eat.

It's probably not going to taste good. Not because the week of lentils has made me averse to the idea of consuming flesh, but because we bought this shit from 7 fucking 11....Gelatinous cubes of pig's blood probably taste better.

But seriously, I'm really surprised at how easy it all was. After the initial shock of the first two days, I really got used to the rhythm of vegetarianism. It took a little longer to order comfortably at restaurants (I've never had a dietary restriction before!), but eventually it became second-nature.

Especially at home. I'll admit I didn't make 90 percent of the foods I'd talked up, but for the most part, my meals were delicious and satisfying.

Last night, for example, I directed a magnum opus of French country cooking.

sangria (okay, not really French)

leeks vinaigrette with egg noodles

Confit of radishes in the pan

I admit, I've made this before when a vegetarian friend came to dinner. But the meal created such a stir that it's been inserted into the collective memory of Andi's kitchen prowess. First, you start off with a bunch of leeks (Get them as large as you can because the end product is sturdier and more substantial) and perform all of the proper trimming and washing. Here's a nice video showing you how to do it.

Then, you basically seer them in butter and oil, pour in some white wine and cook for a bit, add broth (I substituted vegetable), and bake in the oven for twenty minutes. Check out the full recipe from Bon Appetit here. Oh, and once you've mastered the vinaigrette dressing to put on top, you'll never want to go back to jarred dressing again. Add a bit of honey if you like it sweet. Goes great on salads.

You've also got to try this radish confit as a side. The sweet citrus flavors of the sliced root vegetable give the buttery leek a little pep. Since you're cooking them down for awhile, the color of the radishes becomes more concentrated, giving them a beautiful bright pink glow. Boil some egg noodles too- You're going to need something a little bland to balance all these flavors!

I also tried some fake chicken strips this week. Under the suggestion of the brilliant and beautiful Jamie Ross, I picked up some Gardein "seven grain crispy tenders I'm meat-free." (Is that the whole title?) and watched them bubble in the oven for a bit. I swear I'll try yours too Cheena, but I couldn't find them at Safeway yesterday.

I was actually pretty surprised! They were the best non-meat meat I've ever had. I was a little suspicious when I saw pieces of oats used in the breading, but for the most part, these guys were indistinguishable from the McDonald's stuff. It was probably easier for Gardein to get it right though, because real chicken nuggets aren't meat either.

I hope I haven't disappointed anyone by deciding to go back to eating meat. I don't think it was ever my intention to become vegetarian permanently, despite what I may have intimated. As a food writer who never takes no for an answer, I wanted to experience the feeling of restraint for a change. I wanted to feel how the other - more responsible - half lives. I wanted to understand where you're coming from.

I don't think my efforts have gone to waste. Over the past week, I've realized how painless and even exhilarating it is to eat vegetarian. Before, I think I treated meat like it was toast or something. I was gluttonous and irresponsible, popping meat into my mouth without the special regard it deserves. In the future, I hope I can live up to higher standards: eating responsibly and with appreciation for the sacrifices (animals and humans) make.

Frequently asked vegetarian questions:

1. Do you feel healthier?
 Not really. I ate a lot of cheese. 

2. Did you save money?
I don't think so. Leeks are surprisingly expensive! I did go to a sushi restaurant tonight and eat a cheap bowl of udon soup. But honestly, I probably would have done that anyway. I LOVE UDON!

3. Do you feel EMPOWERED?
A little bit. The understanding and support of others - especially H. Dog - helped me realize that people care about me and my stinky self-inflicted obstacle courses. It's nice to take something on and succeed at it too. Other than that, I still don't know shit about chakras or whatever.

4. Would you do ever it again?
But of course!